The Feast of the Holy Innocents

Then was fulfilled what had been spoken through the prophet Jeremiah:

                                               

                                                      “A voice was heard in Ramah,

                                                      wailing and loud lamentation,

                                                      Rachel weeping for her children;

                                                      she refused to be consoled,

                                                      because they are no more.”

                                                              

                                                                     ~Matthew 2:17,18

December 28 is the Feast of the Holy Innocents. Dating back to the fifth century, this feast day commemorates the slaughter of all male children under the age of two as ordered by Herod, the Roman appointed King of the Jews.  Every year in the Christmas story, we hear of this action as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew. It is often given only cursory attention. The Coventry Carol recalls the tragedy of “Herod the King, in his raging/ Charged he hath this day/ His men of might, in his own sight/ All young children to slay.”  Usually I do not dwell on that aspect of Christ’s coming into the world.  When I do think about it, I think of how horrible an event like that would be, but I don’t let myself feel the pain of such a slaughter.  After all, it is Christmas – a time to dwell upon the joy and the wonder of the season.

This year, however, the death of the innocents came all too close to home. We could not help feeling the pain and the loss when the news came of 20 young children in Newtown, Connecticut being shot in their class room by an unstable man with a high capacity assault rifle. All of the children were 6 or 7 years old. For days the news of the killings at Sandy Hook Elementary School filled our TV screens. The President visited the town and spoke to the community and the nation at a prayer vigil for those children and adults who lost their lives. Funerals were held and the nation mourned along with the Connecticut families whose children were taken away in an instant.

This year, the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre in Newtown has given us a different perspective. We have been forced to realize that while we celebrate the coming of light into a world of darkness, we still live with much darkness.  We speak of the wonder of Emmanuel, “God with us,” while we are forced to ask ourselves were God was on this day.  For me, because of the truth that God is with us, then God must be here suffering with us, as God does with each daily tragedy somewhere in the world. We who are living are left to ask ourselves what we will do in light of this suffering to make our world a safer place.

Much has been written in recent days dealing with these very questions of how could this happen and what can we do now? While the story recalled by the Coventry Carol at Christmas can be neatly explained by an evil king with an army at his disposal, our tragedy is not so simple.  Rather than wringing our hands and saying,  “Oh, how evil this is,” we must address the systemic flaws in our country that make us more susceptible to gun violence than any other industrialized nation.  Many innocents died this December because we have a woefully inadequate mental health system, and we have woefully glorified the use and ownership of guns. These are problems that can be addressed if we have the courage to change our ways.

Here are a few articles that have been written in the wake of the Sandy Hook tragedy:

• 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America by Liz Long
• Twelve facts about guns and mass shootings in the United States by Ezra Klein
• A Culture That Condones The Killing OfChildren And Teaches Children To Kill by Lucinda Marshall
• In the Wake of Another Mass Shooting, Let's Talk About America's Dangerously Gutted Mental Healthcare System by Lynn Stuart Parramore
• Do We Have the Courage to Stop This? By Nicholas Kristof
• When the Second Amendment EnablesTerrorism: Why Killing Children Isn’t a Well-Regulated Militia by David R. Henson
• "I Am Adam Lanza's Psychiatrist": A Response from the Mental Health Trenches to "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother"
• Christians must not let the Christmas lights go out this dark December  by Rabbi Jonathan Miller

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For this liturgical day to call to mind the Holy Innocents, here is a prayer from the church liturgy:

A Prayer To The Holy Innocents

Holy Innocents, you died before you were old enough to know what life means, pray for all children who die young that God may gather them into His loving arms.

Holy Innocents, you were killed because one man
was filled with hatred, pray for those who hate that God may touch their hearts and fill them with love.

Holy Innocents, you experienced a violent death, pray for all who are affected by violence that they may find peace and love.

Holy Innocents, your parents grieved for you with deep and lasting sorrow, pray for all parents who have lost young children that God may wrap a warm blanket of comfort around them.

Holy Innocents, those around you certainly felt helpless to prevent your deaths, pray for all who feel helpless in their circumstances that they may cling to God for courage and hope.

Holy Innocents, you who are now in Heaven, pray for all of us that one day we may join you there to bask in God's love forever.

Amen.



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Wednesdays with Dorothy: How It All Began

(This is part of a series. For Table of Contents go here)

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Charlie and Dorothy at the dinner table

I first met Dorothy Burdette in 1987 when I was Program Director for the St. Andrew’s Foundation on Birmingham’s Southside. She had come to the St. Andrew’s Foundation Group Homes in 1975 after having spent 35 years being institutionalized at Partlow State School. By 1980, she was living in her own apartment, having achieved a long-held dream to live on her own. She maintained that dream for the rest of her life, with help from her friends.

When I was New to the Neighborhood

When I first began at St. Andrew’s Foundation in 1984, my duties were primarily in one of the group homes where eight residents lived. Many of our residents had come from Partlow State School which had come under court order in 1974 to de-institutionalize as a result of the Wyatt v. Stickney law suit. One of the rulings in that case was that Partlow State School and Hospital was "warehousing" its residents and was "wholly incapable of furnishing [habilitation] to the mentally retarded and [was] conducive only to the deterioration and the debilitation of the residents."

I learned a lot as I came to know the group home residents where I worked – all of whom had mental retardation as their primary diagnosis (Developmental Disabilities is the general term now used in diagnosis).  The people I worked with would sometimes talk about what life was like in the state institution. As I would hear some of those guys talk, I would think to myself, “Someone should be writing this stuff down!” It was when I was promoted to Program Director with a wider range of responsibilities that I began my interactions with Dorothy. It was there that I began to hear her story, and there that I began a friendship that would last for years to come.

Even though she had graduated from our group homes and our supervised living apartments, Dorothy Faye Burdette, or Dorothy Faye as we sometimes called her, still found a supportive community among the St. Andrew’s Foundation staff. That is how Ms. Burdette and I met and became friends. She would come by the office from time to time for help figuring out her bills, or with an official letter from some government agency that she needed help understanding. Often we would meet for lunch and then travel to the Food Stamp office so she could pick up her monthly food stamp allotment.

In addition to maintaining a community of support in our offices, Ms. Burdette found similarly supportive communities at her church and among her neighborhood friends. She treasured having her own apartment, and she also had a determination to maintain friendships.  Remarkably, she was able to continue living in the apartment that she moved into over 30 years ago until her death this year at the age of 82. Much of her success was due to her ability to garner her own support system that included friends, church members, and social workers.

Staying in Touch

I moved on from St. Andrew’s Foundation in 1996 to work in the field of healthcare as a registered nurse. Dorothy Burdette and I continued to stay connected. Sometimes I would meet with her for lunch, sometimes she would call me up on the telephone. Sometimes my wife and I would invite her over to our house for a holiday meal. Often when we would meet, she would have a few things she wanted me to help her with: shopping for groceries, getting her bills paid, balancing her checkbook, fixing something that came loose in her apartment.

Sometimes when we met, Dorothy would mention things about her life growing up, or about life in the institution and I would again say to myself, “Someone should write this down.” Finally I decided that I needed to start writing some things down. I thought Dorothy Burdette had an important story to tell, so I asked her if she would be willing for me to record the story of her life in her own words.  We met weekly, usually in her living room, and I ended up with around nine hours of conversation. I would ask her questions about her experiences, and she would provide many fascinating details. I eventually had the story of Dorothy Burdette’s life in her own words which I was able to put into a book. I'll never forget the look on her face when I placed her own book into her hands.

I would like to share on my blog the remarkable life of my friend who made it through incredible poverty, hardship, abuse and institutionalization to find a life of her own with friends to support her. I’m going to call these posts “Wednesdays with Dorothy,” because I hope to be able to get a post each Wednesday to tell you a little more of her life each week.

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[Note: The group homes and supervised apartments formerly known as the St. Andrew's Foundation are now under the auspices of The ARC of Jefferson County]




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Mental Health Day

Yesterday my wife and I attended a conference on psychiatric nursing. There were excellent presentations on dementia, borderline personality, depression in geriatric patients, and pre-natal and post-partum depression. We heard a grief counselor talk about helping patients process grief in sudden death events and other complicated grief experiences. It was the first time in several years that I had attended such a conference. When I began my nursing career, I had spent 12 years in community mental health before going into psychiatric nursing. After 2½ years in psychiatric nursing, I moved into cardiac nursing where I have been for the past 12 years (I tell people that since I can do cardiac as well as psychiatric nursing, that makes me a heart-and-soul nurse).

It was good to get back into the arena of mental health and to hear about current practices in the field. I was reminded of a segment that I heard on NPR just a few days ago about the increased mental health issues that are occurring in the wake of the BP oil crisis in the Gulf. People whose livelihoods depend upon oil production and fishing in the Gulf Coast States have had their lives disrupted. Incidents of depression and suicide are on the increase. These people’s lives have been altered in a dramatic way, but there are others who are also experiencing added stressors throughout the country due to the depressed economy and job losses. Increased stress leads to more difficulties in coping, which leads to increased signs of depression and other mental illness as well as an increase in violence.

There were two important things that I took away from that conference on mental health:

1) It is important for us to be aware of mental health issues and to know where to turn. Here are three good websites to know about in matters of mental health:
Mental Health America at www.mentalhealthamerica.net . This is the largest and oldest organization to help people experiencing mental illness. It was established in 1909 by Clifford Beer, a Wall Street financier and Yale graduate. He had a Bipolar episode following his brother’s death in the early 1900’s. He later wrote a book detailing his experiences in a mental hospital, including being kept in a straight jacket for 21 consecutive days during one episode of his three year hospitalization. He started the National Mental Health Association, now known as Mental Health America, in order for people with mental illness to have a voice in the public square.

The National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) at www.nami.org NAMI is an advocacy group “dedicated to improving the lives of individuals and families affected by mental illness.”

The National Institute of Mental Health at www.nimh.gov “The mission of NIMH is to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses through basic and clinical research, paving the way for prevention, recovery and cure.” This is a comprehensive website that has information on the latest research, treatment and laws relating to mental health. There is also educational information on a variety of mental health topics.

2) One of the presenters recommended a book by Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear. This is a book for and about violence against women. According to the Amazon.com review, “The book teaches how to identify the warning signals of a potential attacker and recommends strategies for dealing with the problem before it becomes life threatening... People don't just ‘snap’ and become violent, says de Becker, whose clients include federal government agencies, celebrities, police departments, and shelters for battered women. ‘There is a process as observable, and often as predictable, as water coming to a boil.’ Learning to predict violence is the cornerstone to preventing it.”

There is too much violence against women in our society. Since I have a daughter who is single and in college, I’m going to get her this book.



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