Sexual Harassment : An Endemic Problem

Cartoon by Joel Pett at the Lexington Herald-Leader

I wrote a version of this essay back in May of 2014 under the title, "The Problem of Being Male." It was right after the cover of Time Magazine highlighted a recurrent problem of male sexual misbehavior. The topic at the time was rape on college campuses. I am repeating the blog post today because of the recent Hollywood scandal involving movie mogul, Harvey Weinstein. He has been accused of decades of sexual harassment, using his position of power to take advantage of numerous women. The problem is sadly endemic to our society. 

We have seen similar news items about sports teams, coaches, movie celebrities, military personnel,  and clergy.  Sometimes it involves taking advantage of women in subordinate roles, sometimes it is child abuse, but all too often it is a specifically male problem of men mishandling their sexual drives. In the case of Harvey Weinstein, it was brought home to me that our continued unwillingness to talk about it is one indication that sexual harassment is an endemic societal problem. One might argue that all the news coverage indicates we are talking more about it – but who is doing the talking?

I had several friends on social media speaking out about the problem last week, but I noticed that they were all women. We men all too often will turn our attention elsewhere, or laugh things off. Sadly, while we remain silent, it is our wives, daughters, sisters and mothers who are being hurt.  As one of my friends put it, 

“He's not hard to recognize, and ALL of us, men and women, know him well. He's been at your parties, he's been at your job, he's very likely your drunk uncle (or your drunk brother, or your father, or your friend's father, or - personal experience - the father of the kids you babysit as a teenager). We're (again, ALL of us) usually trying to be polite in a public gathering, so we don't say anything. Or we're trying not to get fired, so we just try to get away from him. Or we're just trying to ignore whatever he says or gestures while we're walking down the street. My point - he is everywhere, and though he loves to be someone with real power in his world, he can also be just your garden variety neighborhood jerk. The thing with power, though, is that it silences people. So the victims of this behavior don't speak out - or if they do, they're silenced or ridiculed or fired.”

A Deep-Seated Flagrant Inheritance?

Why is there such a seemingly prevalent problem with men’s sex drives? Is it a problem born of nature? When one observes the natural world, one sees that the drive toward life is flagrantly abundant, scattering millions of seeds and eggs throughout the environment so that a fraction of those life forms will make it to maturity, with the rest serving as food and fodder. Life is also incredibly tenacious, with trees clinging to rocky mountaintops, bacteria growing in super-heated lava flows beneath the ocean, and desert tadpole shrimp whose eggs can survive through decades of drought until rains come to the dry landscape. The drive toward life is seemingly relentless and nature seemingly strives to fill every available bit of habitable space with some form of life. We human beings are the inheritors of a drive for life that seems to be as large as the universe and is at least as large as the world itself.

Look around and you will see that we are part of a grand and glorious enterprise, this marvelous thing called life that is occurring within this grand thing called the universe. A problem seems to arise with human consciousness regarding the sexual drive – we are not quite sure how to handle the strong and primal drive of life that is embedded within us. We seem to have a combination of noble, higher aspirations while remaining subject to a flagrant propagation instinct. It is as though the drive for life is too large to rest comfortably within an individual. 

Modern Fables and Ancient Myths 

African elephant in musth

The fables we tell speak of our uncontrollable urges. For example, the writers of the science fiction series Star Trek developed the Vulcan concept of pon-farr in which the sexual drive periodically completely overcomes the otherwise rational and logical Vulcan psyche. We also see it in nature as when a bull elephant in musth (even the ordinarily docile and domesticated Indian elephant) becomes dangerous, unpredictable and destructive. Michael Dowd, in his book, Thank God for Evolution, says that we modern humans live with miss-matched instincts. He points out that instincts which served our ancestors well in allowing them to survive as a species in eons past can become destructive in our modern society. The problem of how to handle the sexual drive seems to be a particularly male problem.

The initiation rites of primitive tribes observed by anthropologists today might give us a clue that ancient cultures had as much trouble reigning in adolescent drives as modern society does.  Tribal rituals guide adolescent boys into manhood. Those rituals can often be harsh, making sure that young boys entering manhood understand their responsibilities to the tribe as well as the proper use of their sexuality. Today with the numerous problems we hear about regarding sexual predators in society, one wonders if perhaps we need a return to harsh initiation rites to drive it home to men that they have a duty with regard to sexual drives. There is the responsibility to consider the well-being of another. 

In issues of rape, professionals will tell you that it is not just about sex – it is an act of violence.  Robert Bly, the poet who became associated with the Men's Movement back in the 1990s, believes that what is missing on our society is a proper initiation of young men with older men as wise mentors. His best-selling book, Iron John: A Book about Men, elaborates his view of how men can reconnect by regaining the ancient wisdom of earlier times. (You can read a review of the book here. To read an interview with Robert Bly in which he discusses the problem of male violence in society, go here.) 

Indiscretions of Trusted Leaders

It is particularly distressing when we hear about people being abused and young lives shattered by the sexual misconduct of adults, usually men. Most men, one would hope, understand the sexual drive and that one must accommodate that drive to rules that make our society work and also protect the vulnerable. On the other hand, in addition to those rules of expected behavior, there are also industries of pornography, prostitution and human trafficking that appeal to and accommodate the darker side of the male sexual drive. Moreover, we see trusted men in authority taking advantage of women and molesting children. After reeling for several years from accounts of priests abusing children, there has been in the news recently renewed discussion of allegations regarding abusive behavior by actor/comedian Bill Cosby, filmmaker Woody Allen as well as a history of sexual misconduct by respected Mennonite theologian John Yoder.

Too often, we have looked the other way or refused to acknowledge the damage resulting from the sexual misbehavior of men in power. When these incidents become known, then the problems become even more complicated. For example, I now have difficulty even thinking of watching Woody Allen's movie, Annie Hall, which was seen as a classic commentary on our society with both comedic and sociological insight. The Cosby Show was seen as a landmark production in promoting family values, healthy parenting and educating the public on Black history. Now, those worthy efforts on the part of so many is tainted.

In the same way, the U.S. Catholic Bishops' groundbreaking pastoral letters from the 1980s concerning peace and economic justice that were such inspiring prophetic documents cannot escape the taint that those same bishops who were making such profound statements of social justice were also protecting pedophile priests. Likewise, the late John Yoder, whose work did so much to validate a pacifist theology for peace, cannot be viewed the same way in light of evidence of his unwanted sexual advances on women.

Calling them Out

It is past time to start holding people accountable for sexual abuse. There is no place for excuses such as “boys will be boys,” or “everyone has their sexual needs.” When we look the other way, people get hurt and we also do a disservice to the larger community. Where can we find the answer to this "male problem?" I do not claim to have the complete answer, nor can we expect a simple solution, but we must acknowledge that the problem lies for the most part in the male of the species. We must also admit that men in power are significant contributors to the problem. 

As a man, it is not a pleasant thing for me to admit that men are causing such problems. It is a discomforting thing, which may be why we are not talking about the problem enough. I know many men (most men I know, in fact) who conduct themselves decently and appropriately. The fact remains, however, that we have a male problem that needs to be addressed. We can write about it in science fiction tales, but we need to acknowledge it in our midst as well.  Perhaps we men need to speak more loudly to our peers about what behaviors are out of bounds. Perhaps our culture needs healthier ways to guide and "initiate" our young men into the world.  

I have no simple answer to offer here. I welcome any comments from readers about how you see the problem or how you think the problem should be addressed.  How can we better guide our young people and hold adults accountable? We owe it to our children, our society, and our future to find a way to rein in our damaging behaviors.   



_______________
Photo of African bull elephant by Yathin S Krishnappa
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons



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Image and Likeness

(Why the "New Atheists" Are Late to the Party and Limited in their Outlook)

The Likeness of God

Detail from Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel

It’s a paper tiger that the “new atheists” love to trot out: that image of God as an old man in the sky that they cannot believe in. They are often heard speaking out against the concept of a God sitting in the clouds ready to ready to smite erring humans. While they are justified in discounting that image of God, they are a little late in coming to the party. In reading the biblical authors, we see that there is a long-running attempt to discount that notion within the sacred texts as well. Within the pages of the Hebrew Scriptures and in the Christian Bible one can see that people’s concept of God was something that evolved over time. Primitive concepts often gave way to new understandings.

Putting Away the Wrathful God

Moses, as envisioned by Michalangelo
carved in stone like so many commandments

One of the few places in the Bible that presents an actual picture of God as the angry wrathful man up on high, which some mistakenly see as THE biblical view, is when God spoke to Moses at Sinai. The notable thing about that divine encounter is that MOSES QUICKLY CORRECTED THE ALMIGHTY, moving God away from wrath and toward compassion (Exodus 32: 10-14). What escapes many faithful readers as well as critics is that even in the earliest recording of scripture, the human writers of the sacred text saw a need to steer away from the concept of a wrathful God.

A few years ago, I posted a light-hearted commentary on that passage in Exodus (Human Reason Calms an Angry Deity -- with the subtitle, "What to do when God shows his ass"). Rabbi Aaron Alexander, in an article on Huffington Post, refers to commentary from the Babylonian Talmud showing how God needs the human factor. Quoting Rabbi Abbahu:

Were it not that a verse of Torah fully spelled it out, it would never have been possible to make such a [theological statement] statement suggesting God's dependence on a human. The verse teaches that Moses seized the Holy Blessed One, like a person who grabs his friend by the garment. He said to him, 'Lord of the world, I shall not let you go until you forgive and pardon them.' (Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Berakhot, 32a)

Mythic Understanding

Some of the richest as well as the most grappling religious writings come from the Babylonian rabbinic period. I think this is because they were living in the highest culture of the time and dealing with the devastation of their own culture. It is from that kind of struggle that deep stories emerge. We miss something important when we continue to look at God in literal terms, tying to "get it right." We miss the point that the myths we tell speak very deep truths about our own inner nature. For example, this story of Moses' dialogue with God is reflective that within the human heart, there is an immense wrathful anger that is quite dangerous, but there is also a very strong compassionate quality. Both of these qualities of our own nature have the potential either to wreak havoc or to nurture the common good.

In the New Testament book of Acts, Paul described God as the one "in whom we live and move and have our being." The apostle Paul, who grew up as a Jew in the Hellenistic culture of the Mediterranean world was speaking to Greeks and harking to the wisdom of Greek poets as he attempted to bear witness to the God of the Hebrews. Paul, as he would indicate in some of his letters, had mystical experiences on occasion which shaped his understanding of God within his own Judeo-Hellenistic culture. His is definitely not an anthropomorphic image of a god removed from creation and humankind, but rather one in which the divine is intimately connected to all that we see and experience. He describes a reality that is in us, around us, and enervating our very existence. Paul's vision is certainly a far cry from an old man bonking heads  from on high.

The Stories We Tell

Mircea Eliade wrote about myth and religion. He talked about how human beings apprehend the sacred in the midst of ordinary life by way of ritual and religion. Reading some of his works about ancient myth and religious practices helped me to realize that the ancient peoples were not simple-minded, as we moderns sometimes assume. I stated before that a difference was that "their mode of thinking was mythopoeic while our modern mindset is scientific and analytical." Eliade understood that myth is not falsehood; myth is truth spoken from a mythopoeic mindset – one might even say a poetic mindset.

Meister Eckhart, 13th century mystic, said "That which one says is God, he is not; that which one does not say, he is more truly that." I would concur. There are no words we could conjure that would scale the heights or plumb the depths of the divine. I would add, however, that whatever one says about God (or the devil for that matter) says something very true about the nature of humanity. The stories we tell are ingenious ways of communicating inner truths that we are often blind to when speaking in matter of fact, day-to-day language.

One of the easiest ways to avoid looking inside ourselves to see our own humanity, and to acknowledge who we really are, is to discredit mythic language and sacred speech as falsehoods, or relics of the past.  Carl Jung was a pioneer in showing how our mythic archetypes reveal much about the human psyche. Jean Shinoda Bolen is a psychiatrist and author whom I had the privilege of hearing years ago. Two of her books, Gods in Every Man and Goddesses in Every Woman, draw upon Jungian concepts of inner archetypes to help people understand why we do the things we do, and to learn how to find a sense of wholeness and purpose.

The poet Robert Bly has done similar things in his work with the Mythopoeic Mens’ Movement, and his book, Iron John, which explores the fairy tale from the Brothers Grimm collection. He affirms the wisdom of ancient story to help modern men to begin to understand why they feel disconnected and how they can make their way back to inner wholeness and connection. Having a poetic mindset, Bly was able to see the wisdom to be found in the ancient stories that emerged from older cultures.

So it is quite alright not to believe in a god who is “the old man up in the sky,” though you are still somewhat behind if that is as far as your disbelief has taken you. There are limitless sacred wonders to apprehend, whether we look outward to the physical world, or inward into the realm of the soul. To gain some insight into who we are and what in the world we are up to, I would highly recommend listening to some old, old stories.

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The Problem with Being Male

It happened again last week. Male sexual misbehavior made the cover of Time Magazine. We have seen this before. This time the topic was rape on college campuses. We have seen similar news items about sports teams, coaches, movie celebrities, military personnel,  and clergy.  Sometimes it involves taking advantage of women in subordinate roles, sometimes it is child abuse, but all too often it is a specifically male problem of men mishandling their sexual drives.

Why is there such a seemingly prevalent problem with men’s sex drives? Is it a problem born of nature? When one observes the natural world, one sees that the drive toward life is flagrantly abundant, scattering millions of seeds and eggs throughout the environment so that a fraction of those life forms will make it to maturity, with the rest serving as food and fodder. Life is also incredibly tenacious, with trees clinging to rocky mountaintops, bacteria growing in superheated lava flows beneath the ocean, and desert tadpole shrimp whose eggs can survive through decades of drought until rains come to the dry landscape. The drive toward life is seemingly relentless and nature seemingly strives to fill every available bit of habitable space with some form of life. We human beings are the inheritors of a drive for life that seems to be as large as the universe and is at least as large as the world itself.

Look around and you will see that we are part of a grand and glorious enterprise, this marvelous thing called life that is occurring within this grand thing called the universe. A problem seems to arise with human consciousness regarding the sexual drive – we are not quite sure how to handle the strong and primal drive of life that is embedded within us. We seem to have a combination of noble, higher aspirations while remaining subject to a flagrant propagation instinct. It is as though the drive for life is too large to rest comfortably within an individual. 

Modern Fables and Ancient Myths

African elephant in musth

The fables we tell speak of our uncontrollable urges. For example, the writers of the science fiction series Star Trek developed the Vulcan concept of pon-farr in which the sexual drive periodically completely overcomes the otherwise rational and logical Vulcan psyche. We also see it in nature as when a bull elephant in musth (even the ordinarily docile and domesticated Indian elephant) becomes dangerous, unpredictable and destructive. Michael Dowd, in his book, Thank God for Evolution, says that we modern humans live with miss-matched instincts. He points out that instincts which served our ancestors well in allowing them to survive as a species in eons past can become destructive in our modern society. The problem of how to handle the sexual drive seems to be a particularly male problem.

The initiation rites of primitive tribes observed by anthropologists today might give us a clue that ancient cultures had as much trouble reigning in adolescent drives as modern society does.  Tribal rituals guide adolescent boys into manhood. Those rituals can often be harsh, making sure that young boys entering manhood understand their responsibilities to the tribe as well as the proper use of their sexuality. Today with the numerous problems we hear about regarding sexual predators in society, one wonders if perhaps we need a return to harsh initiation rites to drive it home to men that they have a duty with regard to sexual drives. There is the responsibility to consider the well-being of another. In issues of rape, professionals will tell you that it is not just about sex – it is an act of violence. Robert Bly, the poet who became associated with the Men's Movement back in the 1990s, believes that what is missing on our society is a proper initiation of young men with older men as wise mentors. His best-selling book, Iron John: A Book about Men, elaborates his view of how men can reconnect by regaining the ancient wisdom of earlier times. (You can read a review of the book here. To read an interview with Robert Bly in which he discusses the problem of male violence in society, go here.) 

Indiscretions of Trusted Leaders

It is particularly distressing when we hear about people being abused and young lives shattered by the sexual misconduct of adults, usually men. Most men, one would hope, understand the sexual drive and that one must accommodate that drive to rules that make our society work and also protect the vulnerable. On the other hand, in addition to those rules of expected behavior, there are also industries of pornography, prostitution and human trafficking that appeal to and accommodate the darker side of the male sexual drive. Moreover, we see trusted men in authority taking advantage of women and molesting children. After reeling for several years from accounts of priests abusing children, there has been in the news recently renewed discussion of allegations regarding abusive behavior by filmmaker Woody Allen as well as a history of sexual misconduct by respected Mennonite theologian John Yoder.

Too often, we have looked the other way or refused to acknowledge the damage resulting from the sexual misbehavior of men in power. When these incidents become known, then the problems become even more complicated.   For example, I now have difficulty even thinking of watching Woody Allen's movie, Annie Hall, which was seen as a classic commentary on our society with both comedic and sociological insight. In the same way, the U.S. Catholic Bishops' groundbreaking pastoral letters from the 1980s concerning peace and economic justice that were such inspiring prophetic documents cannot escape the taint that those same bishops who were making such profound statements of social justice were also protecting pedophile priests. Likewise, the late John Yoder, whose work did so much to validate a pacifist theology for peace, cannot be viewed the same way in light of evidence of his unwanted sexual advances on women.

Calling them Out

It is past time to start holding people accountable for sexual abuse. There is no place for excuses such as “boys will be boys,” or “everyone has their sexual needs.” When we look the other way, people get hurt and we also do a disservice to the larger community. Where can we find the answer to this "male problem?" I do not claim to have the complete answer, nor can we expect a simple solution, but we must acknowledge that the problem lies for the most part in the male of the species. We must also admit that men in power are significant contributors to the problem. As a man, it is not a pleasant thing for me to admit that men are causing such problems. It is a discomforting thing, which may be why we are not talking about the problem enough. I know many men (most men I know, in fact) who conduct themselves decently and appropriately. The fact remains, however, that we have a male problem that needs to be addressed. We can write about it in science fiction tales, but we need to acknowledge it in our midst as well.  Perhaps we men need to speak more loudly to our peers about what behaviors are out of bounds. Perhaps our culture needs healthier ways to guide and "initiate" our young men into the world.  I have no simple answer to offer here. I welcome any comments from readers about how you see the problem or how you think the problem should be addressed.  How can we better guide our young people and hold adults accountable? We owe it to our children, our society, and our future to find a way to rein in our damaging behaviors.   



_______________
Photo of African bull elephant by Yathin S Krishnappa
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Leaving Starbucks: Unchaining America

 I heard an interview with the mayor of Marion, Indiana on NPR the other day. He was proud to get a Starbucks to help revitalize his town, and other town’s folk were hoping they might see a Target, a Texas Roadhouse, and a Panera in the future as well.  I can understand the relief and/or enthusiasm of people to see such national brands promising to infuse new life into a depressed economy where jobs have dwindled. On the other hand, relying upon corporate chains could have other consequences as well.

Chain stores have taken over America.  We have been lulled onto a deep corporate sleep so that we see nothing but the same restaurants, hotels and stores wherever we go. John Archibald, a local columnist for The Birmingham News recently expressed dismay that The Olive Garden was voted “Best Italian Restaurant in Town” when there are locally owned Italian restaurants, run by actual Italian families that have a long tradition of authentic cuisine. I fully concur with his assessment.

Go to any shopping mall in America and you will find the same stores with the same look and feel.  This is not true Americana. Why should I travel a thousand miles to see the same strip malls and shopping centers that I left back home? Where is the local flavor?

As I write this, I am sitting in a little coffee shop located in a small shopping center, but I am not in a Starbucks or any other chain operation.  Forest Perk Coffee, located in Forest Park in the Piggly Wiggly Shopping Center, is a locally owned operation.  It may lack the spiffy shine and trendy décor of a Starbucks, but it is a one-of-a-kind spot. The floor is a cement slab with marks and scrapes incurred, no doubt, from previous tenants. The space may be a bit too large for the enterprise, but it has local character. Art from local artists adorns the walls. The menu is not one printed for mass distribution to dictate the choices for patrons across the country. It is a simple chalk board with today’s items written just this morning. This morning it was a great place to sit and read an essay by Robert Bly as well as do some writing. I'll definitely be back!

There is another coffee shop closer to where I live, Crestwood Coffee Company, that my wife and I enjoy patronizing.  It is not in the high rent district. It also has a not-quite-finished appearance, but it has its own character. You walk in there and you see a real community. You get a true snapshot of American life. Both of these shops brew and sell fair trade coffee from Higher Ground Roasters that is roasted locally. Crestwood Coffee Company is another place that you will definitely want to go back to once you've experienced it.

What can we do to unchain America? For one thing, we can support local independent entrepreneurs whenever possible.  Next time you want Italian food, instead of automatically thinking of some nationwide chain that has pumped millions of advertising dollars into TV ads to assure name recognition, take a few minutes to consider a locally owned restaurant.  Make a local coffee shop your stopping place rather than a prefabricated national chain. Try to do the same when you need household repair items, flowers, shrubs, or other purchases.

I’ll admit that the malls are convenient, but they are not Americana.  The really good ones try to fake Americana, but it is all fabricated in some corporate board room. We could lose our local identity, not through totalitarian governments, as was feared in the last century, but through our own lazy complicity with corporate giants and Wall Street financiers.  

I am not a paid celebrity spokesman for either Forest Perk Coffee or Crestwood Coffee Company. In all fairness, there are other local coffee shops in town. Check online or in the telephone directory to find other independent, unchained establishments.



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