We often use
the term “independent living” when referring to people with disabilities living in
the community. When I was Program Director at the St. Andrew’s Foundation, we
hosted a seminar about teaching independent living skills to adults with
developmental disabilities. The seminar leader drove home the point that what
we are really talking about is interdependence rather than independence.
None of us so-called able-bodied individuals live truly independently. We are
all interdependent upon one another for a variety of things. Everyone lives by
getting help from others. For those with “normal” abilities, knowing how to
find the help that is needed is part of how we make it in society. Or as The
Beatles famously sang, “I get by with a little help from my friends.”
Dorothy
managed to keep a network of friends who helped her to get by in life. She was
able to live her dream of having her own apartment and to come and go as she
pleased by enlisting the help she needed from friends around her. Sometimes help came in the form of social
services, and sometimes it came from the friendships that Dorothy had in the
community and at her church. At the time of our interviews, Dorothy was in her
elder years and needed a bit more assistance in her home than she had in
previous years. One day I asked Dorothy about how she managed to get the things
she needed in order to live comfortably in her apartment.
I have
to have help getting to my doctor’s appointments. Some of my friends over there at the church
will take me sometimes. Sometimes Ros (former secretary at St
Andrew’s Foundation) helps out.
I used
to go over to the office at St. Andrew’s to get help with bills and
appointments. I did
have a case manager, she left and I got a new case manager now. The folks at
MRDD (Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities) don’t work with me no more. I’m under a different system where they have
a nurse to come in and help with my medicines and a cleaning lady helps me
clean and another lady comes to help with my bath.
There
were about three or four of them that came yesterday, including my new case
manager. They asked if anything ever happened, an emergency or something, like
a flood or a fire, did I have anybody to stay with. Lana told her that Ros lived
up on the hill or I could go with her. They said something about a shelter, but
I do not want to go to no shelter.
My MRDD
case managers would always make sure my doctor’s appointments were taken care
of and that somebody would take me shopping. Sometimes they would carry me
shopping, but Fred Pinto made them stop because they didn’t have insurance on
the car in case there was an accident.
Miss
Lexis Buford was my case manager, but I’m not with the MRDD no more. Now
they’ve got me on Medicaid Waiver. It happened that they moved me from MRDD to
Southern Hospitality, then they got me on Medicaid waiver. A case manager came
by my apartment.
So they
help out where I need help. I’m not with the Southern Hospitality any more.
It’s where people come in to give you a bath or launder your clothes or clean
your house –other people come in now. I still get out and clean up the porch. I
try to pull the weeds out from around the porch.
When I
was at Partlow, there was a girl used to wash and iron my clothes till I
started working in the laundry and learnt how to do it myself. I’d put my
clothes in a pillow case. She would take them to wash ‘em and then she’d bring
‘em back. She was one of the residents there.
I thought about getting me a washer and dryer over here, but there’s no
place to put one. Now I have to get somebody else to wash my clothes. The lady
that comes over here washed them one time. I used to get e girl that goes to
church to wash my clothes. She goes to school now and she can’t do it no more.
I used to do it but I can’t walk up the hill to the Laundromat no more, I get
plumb out of breath. When somebody comes
to wash my clothes, I have to give them some change for the machines. I used to
have some from Southern Hospitality, but I don’t use them no more because I
caught one of those ladies going in to my refrigerator. This girl that used to
do it, she don’t come up here very often now, She won’t come at all if it’s
raining. She don’t have no transportation – she has to get somebody to bring
her over here or either she’ll ride the bus.
I’ve
got one lady that comes in to help in the apartment every day, and one that
comes every other day. Sometimes one of them will wash my clothes but they just
put them in a bag and leave ‘em. They’ll
come every other week to wash ‘em.
I was
down there 35 years [at Partlow], and then I got out. I was assisted how to use
a coin operated laundry and how to match my clothes and everything, and how I
used to walk downtown by myself. I’d go down to Five- points and over yonder to
Western Supermarket. I’d still love to do it but my legs won’t allow me to do
it no more.
Sometimes
my cleaning lady will come and fix breakfast. I mostly fix it myself, but
sometimes she’ll fix it. I usually fix them veggies strips when I got ‘em. Then
I’ll fix toast and eggs sometime, maybe grits or oatmeal. I like jelly and
butter, homemade jams, and things.
One
time Harry took me over to Sylacauga to try to meet my cousin. She was
so mean and nasty and she acted like she didn’t even know who I was. I thought
sure she would be glad to see me. We hadn’t seen each other since we were
children. She was about seven and I was about five. But she just made me feel
unwelcome. I felt like I wasn’t welcome anywhere except at home and at church.
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